Cajun Mutt Press Featured Writer 11/27/19

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AN AWFUL THING

It’s an awful thing
to want a friend
when so many have them,
and not just one,
some have more than one,
some have more than a dozen.
I suspect those who have more than a dozen
collect them for the sheer sake of it,
to surround themselves with bodies
so they can’t be seen.

I’ve been without a friend for so long
I’ve forgotten what it’s like…
to know someone the way you know yourself,
to share things that no other can be trusted with,
things like secrets,
things like moments when every mask,
every pretense,
every guard has been lowered
and your true face is revealed.

It’s an awful thing
to want a friend
who doesn’t want you,
who finds your secrets too uncomfortable,
who begins making excuses not to see you
when you know full well the reason why.
A friend like that can make you want to crawl into yourself
and never come out,
ever again.
But you do,
eventually.

It’s an awful thing
to have a friend
you wish would stop calling,
you wish would stop trying to set up dates
to do this and do that,
a friend that has become,
for lack of a better word,
an annoyance,
a fly crawling on your skin
looking for a place to enter,
a friend you wish would just go away
before something awful happens.

©Kurt Newton all rights reserved

KNP

Kurt Newton’s poetry has appeared in Horror Sleaze Trash, In Between Hangovers and Alien Buddha Zine. His latest poetry collection, Nazi Swastika Bikini Wax Illuminati, was published in August by Alien Buddha Press.

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