Cajun Mutt Press Featured Writer 06/08/20

two cold beers riding shotgun

i drove all day in a haze
there was fog in my head
and my eyelids were heavy
i didn’t care where the road went
if i crashed or arrived
i had no destination
the car drove me…
from town to town
from paved rock to dirt
from day to night
my fog never lessened
it was too real
it followed
under highway lights
and beneath overpasses
and all the small town
street lamps that i passed
remained off—
i wondered
who controlled
them…
eventually
my fog subsided
when i reached
another town
another hell
two cold beers
riding shotgun
i drank them
down
navigating
Frost’s lost roads…
when the car stopped
i was free
and the stars
belonged
to
none.

 

i am here again

i have pages
stacked high
of suicide notes
that are uncollected
unorganized
and collecting dust
these pages bare
more of me
than I’ve ever shared
with any one person
and the letters
turned to words
bleed my blood
and the sentences
depict a broken being
desperate am i
for another’s touch
yet when I had it all
i pushed it away
too blinded by my anger
to see my own demise
caused by my damaged hands
and now
i am alone again
this year kept taking
and it took
everything i had
everything i was
everything i am
a sincere emptiness
was all that remained
and for having
everything taken
that emptiness
was
something

as i continue living
the sun sets on today
tomorrow will be the same
the lonely remain lonely
i am here again.

©2020 Tohm Bakelas All rights reserved.

unnamed

Tohm Bakelas is a social worker in a psychiatric hospital. He was born in New Jersey, resides there, and will die there. His poems have appeared in numerous journals, zines, and online publications. He has published numerous chapbooks in America and the UK, one full-length collection of poems, and two micro-chapbooks.

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