Cajun Mutt Press Featured Writer 03/22/21

Urges Familiar And Strange

not gonna lie
it was fun while it lasted
then a law was passed, and
Craigslist casual encounters
was no more

before 2018 you could post
and not be shy about it
“Need a blowjob”
or “Seeking fuck buddy”
for example

of course despite my
“women only” disclaimer
plenty of dudes always responded
and if I was gay
I’d have gotten a lot more action

every so often
I’d get truly, truly lucky
I thought the gods
were really looking out for me

but then the next one
would be the old bait and switch
oh it was the same girl, all right
but they’d performed some hocus-pocus
with camera angles, lighting, filters

I still went through with it, though
a good man-slut doesn’t disappoint a lady

others were working girls
either full time
or just dabbling out of desperation
and if I was horny enough
and had the cash
I might oblige

some emailed using their real names
and I’ve followed a few, online,
over the years
like this one
who’d done some modeling
and according to her Facebook page
was newly engaged
when she offered me a trip to Mars
for two bills

and damn!
I wanted that body
those red lips on my cock
but a hundred was all I had
so it wasn’t happening

in the five years since
came mugshots, jail, rehab
a marriage
a baby

she’s a bartender now
and having a son changed her life
but recently daddy got killed
on his motorcycle

she says that though they
weren’t together anymore
he was a good guy
an amazing father

she put a cross up
at the corner where it happened
and laid flowers there
lit a candle

she takes her three year old
to “see daddy”
when he gets sad
or throws a tantrum
he kisses daddy’s picture
but doesn’t understand
why daddy’s not here
and neither does she

and I don’t understand
this strange urge I have
to drive to that spot
and see him too

©2021 Brian Rihlmann All rights reserved.

Brian Rihlmann was born in New Jersey and currently resides in Reno, Nevada. He writes free verse poetry, and has been published in Cajun Mutt Press, Big Hammer, Slipstream, Chiron Review, The Main Street Rag and others. His latest poetry collection, Night At My Throat (2020) was published by Pony One Dog Press.

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