Cajun Mutt Press Featured Writer 07/11/22

TRANSLATION

Three days after buying a 65-inch LED TV,
Logan returned to the Best Buy store
from which he had bought the set.
Logan was carrying his remote control
and his receipt.

Logan soon found the salesman
who had sold him the TV.
He handed the salesman
the receipt and the remote control.

“What seems to be the matter?”
asked the blue-clad college kid.

“A major defect,” replied Logan.
My TV is supposedly state-of-the-art.
“I’ve looked all over this remote;
nowhere do I see a Reality button.”

The salesman considered the remote.

“You know,” Logan explained,
“the button that exposes all
the wrinkles, warts and pimples
hidden by television wizardry.”

The salesman considered Logan.

“Take, for example, Gilligan’s Island,”
Logan said. “You push the Reality button
and you get what would actually happen.
The castaways kill and eat Gilligan,
thus eliminating a pest and having lunch.
Next, the Skipper, Mr. Howell and the Professor
take turns banging the ladies and then
spend the rest of the series figuring out
which child is whose.”

The salesman handed the remote to Logan.
He reached into a nearby desk drawer
and pulled out a piece of paper,
which he gave to Logan.
Printed on the paper, Logan saw,
were the word “SONY” and
one line of Japanese characters.

“Translation: ‘We’re working on it,’”
said the salesman.

©2022 Jack Phillips Lowe All rights reserved.

Jack Phillips Lowe

Jack Phillips Lowe was born and raised in Chicago. His poems have appeared in Beatnik Cowboy, Synchronized Chaos and Poetry Super Highway, among other outlets. His most recent book, Flashbulb Danger (Middle Island Press, 2018), is available through Amazon.com.

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